Loss
by wonderwoundedhearers
Summary: To bring someone back from the dead means another has to die... Alternate veil scene. O/s.


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_**Loss**_

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Author's note:

_I honestly tried not to write this, because I thought it would bugger up a hell of a lot of stuff and raise a fuck-load of questions about what would come after it…but it would not leave me alone. And so, here I present you with a short O/S of how Lupin lost Tonks…_

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_This room was larger than the last, dimly lit and rectangular, and the centre of it was sunken, forming a great stone pit some twenty feet deep. They were standing on the topmost tier of what seemed to be stone benches running all around the room and descending in steep steps like an amphitheatre, or the courtroom in which Harry had been tried by the Wizengamot. Instead of a chained chair, however, there was a raised stone dais in the centre of the pit, on which stood a stone archway that looked so ancient, cracked and crumbling, that Harry was amazed the thing was still standing. Unsupported by any surrounding wall, the archway was hung with a tattered black curtain or veil which, despite the complete stillness of the cold surrounding air, was fluttering very slightly as though it had just been touched._

"_Who's there?" Said Harry, jumping down onto the bench below. There was no answering voice, but the veil continued to flutter and sway…_

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They both ducked again; a jet of green light had narrowly missed Sirius. Across the room Harry saw Tonks fall from halfway up the stone steps, her limp form toppling from stone seat to stone seat and Bellatrix, triumphant, running back towards the fray…

"_Come on, you can do better than that!" He yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room._

_The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest._

_The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock._

_Harry released Neville, though he was unaware of doing so. He was jumping down the steps again, pulling out his wand, as Dumbledore, too, turned towards the dais._

_It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall: his body curved in a graceful arch as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch._

_Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather's wasted, once-handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell back into place._

_Harry heard Bellatrix Lestrange's triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing – Sirius had only just fallen through the archway, he would reappear from the other side any second…_

_But Sirius did not reappear._

"_SIRIUS!" Harry yelled. "SIRIUS!"_

_He had reached the floor, his breath coming in searing gasps. Sirius must be just behind the curtain, he, Harry, would pull him back out…_

_But as he reached the ground and sprinted towards the dais, Lupin grabbed Harry around the chest, holding him back._

"_There's nothing you can do, Harry–"_

"_Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"_

"–_it's too late, Harry."_

"_We can still reach him–" Harry struggled hard and viciously, but Lupin would not let go…_

"_There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…he's gone."_

"_He hasn't gone!" Harry yelled._

_He did not believe it; he would not believe it; still he fought Lupin with every bit of strength he had. Lupin did not understand; people hid behind that curtain; Harry had heard them whispering the first time he had entered the room. Sirius was hiding, simply lurking out of sight–_

"_SIRIUS!" He bellowed. "SIRIUS!"_

"_He can't come back, Harry," said Lupin, his voice breaking as he struggled to contain Harry. "He can't come back, because he's d–"_

"_HE–IS–NOT–DEAD!" Roared Harry. "SIRIUS!"_…

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Everything within Harry was screaming in pain at the thought of his godfather truly being– No. He was _not_ dead.

Harry rammed back into Lupin in a fit of supreme strength, and even the man with werewolf strength could no longer contain him, suffering as Lupin was with his own all-consuming, screaming heartache.

Harry's feet hit the ground running, his hand reaching out in front of him just to _touch _the grey veil–

Lupin saw Harry's outstretched fingertips, almost brushing the deathly shimmering curtain, and he leapt.

"NO!" He yelled.

Lupin's arms locked around Harry's waist, but he would not be stopped – Harry flailed and kicked, wishing that Sirius would just come back out already. He was so close…

Lupin pulled back hard, narrowly avoiding Harry's flying elbows, but was slowly being dragged closer to the calling veil–

"No," Lupin growled, reaching out to brace his arm on the left side of the stone arch. The stone was cool and cracked beneath his bare hand – it tugged at something deep inside him…

As Lupin pushed against the arch with one arm, he pulled Harry back against him hard with the other – it finally stilled Harry, slowing him from reaching the veil.

"Come back, NOW! GIVE HIM BACK!" Harry yelled out in grief, speaking to the voices now rather than Sirius himself, as he reached forward as far as he could.

Time seemed to still.

Their blood rushed and pounded in their ears, but otherwise all was quiet and still. The fight around them ceased to exist and the veil fluttered…

A long, whispering chant of a multitude of voices sounded, "_The dead are dead… The dead are dead… We keep them…here… Here…_"

Harry stopped struggling against Lupin, his eyes widening as an image of Sirius' face shimmered and then faded away on the fluttering veil.

"Yes!" Harry cried, "Him! Give him back!"

Lupin stared, paused in shock with an arm like stone around Harry's waist and his other hand becoming more and more stuck where it rested on the stone arch…

The voices chanted again, "_The dead are dead_…"

"Anything!" Harry yelled, "I'll give you anything!"

Harry was not thinking, only caring about Sirius and seeing the replay of his godfather's fall in his mind's eye.

"_Give us another… Another you love…_ _Yes… Yes… Yes, another who lies dying…_"

"Anything!" Harry cried out automatically, his head clouding with the sweetness of the idea of seeing Sirius' face once again.

Though it may have been Harry speaking the words the voices wanted to hear, it was _Lupin_'s skin so desperately pressed against the stone arch – the veil could not tell the difference between the grief running through Lupin's body and that which coloured Harry's voice. They both wanted the same man, and the veil cared not.

No one who Harry loved lay dying – however, someone who Lupin loved did, and it was Lupin's blood that pounded against the stone arch and which the veil mistook as Harry's, unconsciously calling to the dying woman across the room…

The voices sang clearly one last time, "_She will be taken…and he will be given…_"

The veil whipped wildly, the skin of Lupin's hand burned, and a scream echoed throughout the silent room.

Harry ignored everything else and watched with pure relief and joy as the vision of Sirius swam before him once again, his godfather seemingly reversing his fall as he faded back into view. Sirius' back arched again as he began to bend forwards, his feet exiting the shroud and touching the stone dais once more.

But Lupin's eyes were not on his best friend's miraculous revival, they were on the woman he loved more than anyone else and who had just let out that reverberating scream.

Tonks' limp body was being lifted into the air, her chest high as if she were being dragged upwards from there by an invisible line – her head lolled back in unconsciousness, her glazed and unseeing eyes open, and her arms and legs hung down lifelessly.

Lupin was frozen as he watched her mouth part once more, but a scream did not follow – her lips trembled and her body shook, air being squeezed from her lungs by an invisible force, and it only took one moment for Lupin's world to crash down around him.

Tonks' final fluttering breath left her body and she fell to the cold, unforgiving, stone steps with a sickening thud.

A buzzing noise erupted in Lupin's ears – it drowned out Harry's joyful crowing as he fled Lupin's grip and crushed Sirius to him, and the loud _swish_ing of air as time reverted back to its usual state.

Lupin turned, seemingly in slow-motion, as his heart thudded hollowly in his chest – a silvery-white, ghostly figure floated towards the softly-fluttering veil.

"No," Lupin breathed, unable to move once more as he watched the ghost of Tonks shimmer and glow as she walked towards the arch.

His right hand suddenly responded, darting out to grasp her forearm – Tonks' head turned, her bright hair swishing and her eyes sparkling at him beneath her bangs, as his fingers passed right through her.

Her voice, soft and lovely, suddenly resounded in Lupin's ears, "_It's alright, Remus_…"

He just shook his head, choking on his breath and unable to speak as he watched her being slowly pulled into the arms of the veil like a magnet to its corresponding partner.

"_Dora_," he was able to gasp, as her cold and ghostly hand ran down the side of his face lovingly before the call of the veil pulled her touch back from him.

Lupin watched in horror as _their_ life flashed before his eyes – his knees went weak as he saw thousands of tiny flickers of what could have been: love, marriage…a child…

"I love you," he choked as his eyes found Tonks' again, the image of a beautiful baby boy with a tuft of turquoise hair sprouting from the top of his head sticking in his mind. "I never told you…"

Lupin's right hand rose, trying to grab Tonks in absolute desperation, but as he reached he became immobilised by something – he was unable to reach her, unable to feel or touch her once more…

"NO!" He screamed, the pained howl ringing in his ears dully as he watched a smile flicker across Tonks' ghostly face.

The corners of her lips curved upwards slightly, and without them moving again her voice sounded in his head, "_I love you, too, you know… I'll see you again…_"

Lupin screamed again, in desperation to reach her, but the invisible force held fast and he was only able to watch as Nymphadora Tonks disappeared through the veil – she vanished like silver smoke through the ragged curtain, and Lupin fell to his knees.

He dimly heard the battle whizz on and then finish around him as he stared through the archway, his left hand still stuck to the cold stone – slowly it loosened and then slid down until his fingers hit the stone he knelt upon.

Lupin suddenly turned as he felt the air being disturbed near his neck, and his black and hollow stare made the hand that was about to land upon his shoulder pause in mid-air.

Lupin looked up the person's arm and found his eyes connected with Harry's…but Lupin's gaze was suddenly drawn to the scene behind Harry and the pale Sirius – Mad-Eye Moody stood on the stone steps, violently shaking, before Tonks' still and lifeless body.

Moody fell to his knees before her, his staff dropping from his grip and clattering down the stone steps to the floor – he grasped her shoulders and hauled her body against his in a crushing grip with the grief of a father holding his beloved daughter.

Lupin's eyes raked over Tonks' pale face and bright pink hair once more, before he looked back at Harry with all-consuming hatred.

The only fragments of thought running through his mind were that only Tonks would look so peaceful and beautiful in death, and that he had never felt more like a wolf in his entire life.

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The italicized parts are extracts from 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,' and I own absolutely none of it – everything belongs to JKR.


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